Bust out the ribbon

The Obby 'Oss is released any sec

The pinions on the maypole look like a wreck

We agreed to festoon 'em in both blue and red

Betty

Do me a favor and get me a pint

I'm parched, I'm parched

I'm parched, I'm parched

Watch it!

He's poppin' maidens like maraschino cherries

I can get popped once ya'll are feelin' merry

Cheermeister

Cheermeister

Break out the tinsel

Wrap it around the Christmas tree

Gather around all you brides to be

Would you give me a hand with this thing

In springtime at least my love is passionate

But not anymore, not anymore

Can't get myself off the goddamn floor

Hark!

Relatives and simpletons

And winos and plebs

Enjoy the festivities

And cut off my head

Cheers

Cheers

Your uncle's coming home

He's on a boat from Paris

I know you haven't met him

But he knows a good time

They say he wants to off himself

I think he's alright though

Bust out the booze, kid

You know your uncle knows a good time

Back in my day it was a nickel and a dime

To drink to the brink of death

I'm back at home and the women hate me

The dried-up matriarchs tend to berate me

For doing what I do best

Cheer, cheer

Cheering them on

Cheering them on

Cheering them on

This bottle of Jack's my last will and testament

But join me as I drink it dry

Let's drink until we can't drink no more, kid

Drink until we can't drink no more, kid

Drink until we can't drink no more

Drink until we're no more, kid